Children with disabilities

Chores and Self-Esteem

Assigning children household chores is an effective way of helping them build self- esteem and self-reliance. Doing chores endows children with a feeling of accomplishment and belonging and helps them feel that they are an important part of the larger functioning of the household. This is a good lesson and preparation for later on in life when they are out in the world and making their own way. There are a few guidelines to follow in setting up an effective program of chores.

Always make sure to clearly describe exactly what the chore is and what is required for it to be completed. The chore you assign should match the age and abilities of your child. Demonstrate how the job should be done, if needed, so they understand what you expect. Keep a checklist that the children themselves can use to measure their progress. You child will feel good looking over their accomplishments and will hopefully develop a sense of pride about their completed tasks, the household, and themselves.

Example: Be very specific about what needs to be done. It's a lot less overwhelming for a child when tasks are broken down into smaller steps or components. Rather than asking a child to clean the kitchen, first request that the child help clear the dinner table. When that task is complete, then ask the child to help put the clean dishes back into the cupboard. Short, specific tasks are easier for children to handle and accomplish successfully.

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Copyright 2001 Aspen Youth Services

Communicating With Your Children

Communication is an effective tool and an effective means to develop and maintain a strong relationship with your child. Effective and clear communication is not easy to come by; it takes work and persistence. What follows is some advice and easy tips to help you develop and improve communication with your child.

When your child speaks to you, make eye contact. Don't be distracted by anything else: all attention should be on the child. As the child speaks with you, ask questions and show interest in what they have to say.

Allow the child to make their point. Don't interrupt or show disagreement, let the child have his or her say. Remain objective and allow the child to complete their thoughts.

Remain honest and open. After the child finishes speaking, tell him or her how you feel.

Above all, be patient with your child. Don't criticize the child; treat him or her with understanding and sympathy, even if you feel that you disagree with them. Speak to them respectfully and guide them gently.

When communication is open, honest and understanding, your child will more reason to turn to you and trust your opinions and guidance in future interactions.

Tips for Good Listening

In order to teach listening skills to our children, we need to practice and apply good listening skills ourselves. Start by creating a positive environment for communication. One in which you can respectfully hear what your children have to say without any distractions. Let them express what it is they need to say without interruption or help. Demonstrate respect for their point of view even if you disagree. Allow the children to talk in their own time and in their own way. Whenever possible, devote full attention to them and maintain eye contact. Ask pertinent questions to draw them out or clarify what they're saying. Your children will learn to be effective listeners by watching you and modeling these behaviors.

Example: Sometimes all a child wants to do is vent without necessarily generating a solution. A good listening exercise to practice and apply is to repeat or rephrase their statement back to them with empathy. For instance, if a child is cranky and upset over a disagreement with a friend, you can say, "I am hearing that you feel angry and maybe hurt." This kind of statement can open up further areas of dialogue and also gives permission to the child to go ahead and feel these emotions.

Aspen Education Group (AEG) is an organization that is committed to improving the quality of life for youth and their families. Headquartered in Cerritos, California. Aspen operates forty-eight (48) programs in twelve (12) states. Aspen has been providing innovative quality educational programs that promote academic and personal growth for over two decades.

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