There is no question that having a child with a disability is a tremendous source of stress for any couple, and this may unfortunately lead to divorce.
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There is no question that having a child with a disability is a tremendous source of stress for any couple.

What was once a carefree romantic relationship turns into a painful, confusing, emotional rollercoaster, at least for a time.

Sometimes one partner decides he or she wants off the ride and this leaves a tremendous burden on the spouse left behind.

If the problems in your marriage have reached a crisis stage and you are considering a divorce, first explore all possibilities of saving your marriage.

Often marriages can be saved with the help of skilled marriage and family counselors. If you do not know a counselor, an experienced divorce attorney can recommend one who is properly qualified.

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If your marriage cannot be saved, there is still a good chance that you can negotiate a divorce that is fair to both of you without an angry and destructive battle. It is possible to negotiate your differences in a reasonable way.

Talk to your attorney. With the lawyer’s help, negotiations with your spouse can be productive and fair.

Trouble starts when a husband or wife demands too much or offers too little. Reasonable positions lead to reasonable solutions, which lead to divorces that are less painful, less destructive, and less expensive.

Angry divorces tend to be expensive—financially and emotionally. Your attorney’s fee will depend in large part on how many hours are spent on your behalf. Angry divorces take more time and thus cost more money. If you and your spouse can negotiate your divorce in a reasonable way, your lawyer can help you settle the issues in much less time.

What is “No Fault” Divorce?

To obtain a divorce in Connecticut, it is not necessary for either party to prove that the other was responsible for the breakdown of the marriage. One party must merely believe that the “marriage has broken down irretrievably.”

However, the issue of fault over the breakdown is not completely irrelevant, as the “cause of the breakdown” is one of the elements to be considered in connection with any property division or alimony orders.

What is a "Legal Separation”?

A legal separation requires all of the same legal steps as a dissolution of marriage (divorce), including residence, grounds, pleadings, and court appearances. The only difference is that when the decree is rendered, the parties are “legally separated” rather than “divorced” and are therefore not free to remarry. Unless there is an order or agreement to the contrary, rights of inheritance and the duty to support may remain. A legal separation may be changed to a dissolution of marriage (divorce) by either party asking for a dissolution at any time, unless they have filed a declaration that they have resumed their marital relations.

Married couples who wish to do so may separate and live apart, without court permission. The benefit of a court-ordered separation is that the court will establish responsibilities for alimony, support, custody, etc., eliminating uncertainty. A separation agreement signed by the parties will have many of the legal implications of a court-ordered “legal separation.” Such an agreement should only be entered into with advice of counsel.

What ar the procedures in an action for dissolution of marriage or legal separation?

To obtain a divorce in Connecticut, one of the parties must have resided in the state for at least one year. The legal action is started with a formal complaint. This is a document drawn by your attorney which gives some of the facts of your marriage and the claim for relief. The claim for relief asks for such things as alimony, custody, child support, a division of property, or counsel fees.

The complaint is served by a marshal and contains a summons which directs your spouse or his or her attorney to file a response with the court on a certain day (called the “return day”). A form called an “appearance” should be filed by the defendant spouse or his or her lawyer so that all further information about the case can be mailed to him or her. The person served with a complaint for dissolution of marriage can choose not to file an appearance form but will then have no notice of what happens in the case and may be subject to court orders without an opportunity to be heard. There is a ninety-day waiting period after the return day before either party can have the marriage dissolved. Divorces frequently take longer than ninety days.

While waiting for the ninety-day period to end, either spouse may ask for temporary orders of custody, support, visitation, or alimony or ask the court to resolve any other disagreements between the parties. It is also possible for either spouse to seek orders requiring the other to participate in reconciliation conferences. If family violence erupts during the ninety-day waiting period or at any other time, the police will make appropriate arrests if they are summoned. In addition, restraining orders protecting either spouse (or children or other parties or family members) from abuse can also be issued by either the civil or criminal courts.

At the end of the ninety-day waiting period, depending on whether or not the action is contested, the case can either be assigned for trial as a contested matter or can be assigned for a hearing as an uncontested case.

Divorce cases are most often contested when the parties disagree about money or children.

If a case is uncontested, the court need hear the testimony of only one party and will then approve the parties’ agreement if the court finds it to be fair and equitable. If the parties cannot agree about money or the children, the case is contested and both parties will appear for trial before a judge or a referee. A referee is a retired state court judge to whom contested divorces are “referred” (hence the name “referee”) for trial.

What is considered in deciding issues of alimony and property distribution?

In Connecticut, a court may order either of the parties to pay alimony to the other. In deciding the amount of alimony to be ordered, the legislature has ruled that the court shall take into consideration the length of the marriage, the causes for dissolution of marriage or legal separation, the age, health, station, occupation, amount and sources of income, vocational skills, employability, estate and needs of each of the parties, and any property award which may be made to either husband or wife. In addition, where a parent has been awarded custody of minor children, the court will examine the desirability of the custodial parent securing employment.

Connecticut courts may also give either the husband or wife any part of the estate of the other, including real property. In making assignments of property, the same standards applied in alimony awards will be used, as will the chance of the husband and wife acquiring future capital assets and income. The contribution of each of the parties to the purchase, preservation, or appreciation in the value of their estates will be considered an integral part of any assignment of property.

Because circumstances may change, support and custody decisions and alimony are always modifiable, unless otherwise specified. Property awards are not modifiable.

What are the standards established under Connecticut law for the support obligation?

In deciding upon child support, the court will consider both the ability of each of the parents to pay support and the needs of the child. The courts consider the child’s age, health, station, occupation, earning capacity, and amount and sources of income. The courts must also consider Connecticut’s Child Support and Arrearage Guidelines. The guidelines are income-based and indicate the appropriate level of child support based upon the parties’ incomes and the number of the minor children. The guidelines are usually conclusive although the court is permitted to establish a different level of support based upon the particular facts and circumstances of the case. The age of majority in Connecticut is eighteen. However, in an action for divorce, legal separation, or annulment, a court may order child support in accordance with the guidelines for any unmarried child of the marriage up to age eighteen or until the child reaches the age of nineteen or completes the twelfth grade, whichever occurs first. In the case of a child who is disabled, child support may be ordered until the child reaches age twenty-one.

The court may enter orders for child support beyond the statutory age by written agreement of the parents. Such orders can be made at any time, and for orders entered after October 1, 2001, only, can be modified on motion of either parent like other child support orders.

Beginning on October 1, 2002, when the parents do not agree on child support beyond the statutory age, the court may order either parent to provide support for a child up to the age of twenty-three to attend up to four full academic years of higher education to obtain a bachelor’s degree or vocational training. The support order will be entered only if one of the parents requests such an order before the entry of the judgment of divorce, annulment, or legal separation. However, as long as a parent has requested an order, the court may defer its decision on the amount and terms of the order to a later date by retaining jurisdiction at the time of judgment. An order can also be entered in a support action when parents were never married if the initial order was entered after October 1, 2002. If a judgment or support order was entered before October 1, 2002, parents may not go back to court to request an educational support order.

The court may not enter an order for educational support unless it finds that the parents would have provided support for the child’s education if the family had been intact. In determining whether an order should be entered, the court is to consider all relevant circumstances including: (1) the parents’ income, assets, and other obligations; (2) the child’s need for support to attend school considering the child’s assets and the child’s ability to earn income; (3) the availability of financial aid from other sources, including grants and loans; (4) the reasonableness of the higher education to be funded considering the child’s academic record and the financial resources available; (5) the child’s preparation for, aptitude for, and commitment to higher education; and (6) evidence, if any, of the school the child would attend. The amount that a court may order for educational support is limited to the amount charged by the University of Connecticut for a full-time in-state student, unless the parents agree to pay more. Educational support orders may be modified like other child support orders. To qualify for payments, the child must be enrolled at least half-time in a qualified institution, maintain good academic standing, and make all academic records available to both parents. The child has no right to request or enforce an educational support order.

Who is entitled to custody of minor children?

The court may assign custody of any minor child to either parent, to the parents jointly, or even to a third party, based upon the particular facts of the case. The court will be guided by the best interests of the child, giving consideration to the wishes of the child if he or she is of sufficient age and is capable of forming an intelligent preference. The causes for the dissolution of the marriage or legal separation may also be considered in making a custody award.

Where the parents have reached an agreement the court will usually be guided by that agreement; but, when the parents are litigating custody, the court will not only hear the parents’ cases but may also appoint a lawyer for the children so that their interests may be represented. The parents will be responsible for the fees of the children’s lawyer.

The court is required by statute to order the parents of any minor child or children to attend parenting educational programs in any action dealing with dissolution of marriage, legal separation, annulment, custody, visitation, and child support (not including matters brought regarding temporary restraining orders for domestic violence).

What are visitation rights?

Visitation rights may be granted to the noncustodial parent based upon the best interests of the children. Under limited circumstances, the court may also grant visitation rights to third parties, such as grandparents. Where necessary to protect the best interests of the children, the court may limit or require supervised visitation. The court will set the frequency and times of the visits in its discretion. Traditionally, Connecticut courts prefer to grant the noncustodial parent “reasonable” rights of visitation, without establishing a specific schedule, allowing the children and parents to work out their own flexible program.

How are the court's orders enforced?

If either party fails to comply with the court’s orders or with any provisions of an agreement, there are numerous techniques available for obtaining compliance. These include contempt proceedings, which may result in penalties such as paying the attorney’s fees of the other party—or even incarceration, lawsuits for damages, and withholding of wages or accounts. An immediate or contingent wage withholding will have been issued by the court at the time the support order was entered or modified. The withholding will be effective immediately unless the payee waives immediate withholding or the court decides that such an order should not be entered. Even parties who have left the state can be reached through such statutory systems as the Uniform Reciprocal Enforcement of Support Act.

How are attorney's fee determined?

Legal fees vary depending upon the complexities of the case, the time involved, and the results obtained.

The court may order one spouse to contribute toward the other spouse’s attorney’s fees, but the full amount due each spouse’s attorney remains the obligation of the hiring spouse. The amount ordered to be paid can be credited toward the legal fee. Attorneys cannot always estimate their fees with any reasonable certainty since the fees are dependent upon the attitudes and behavior of the parties as well as the time and complexities of the case.

When you first consult a lawyer, you should discuss how the fee will be determined. In many cases, it will be possible for your lawyer to give you a fairly accurate estimate of the fee, but often the amount of the fee is hard to predict because your lawyer cannot be certain just how complex or time-consuming a matter will be or how much work will be involved. In most instances, a down payment or retainer will be requested in advance to cover any preliminary work or cash disbursements the lawyer may be required to make.

When Reality Hit Me...Hard

I found myself in this situation. I'll never forget sitting across from my then-husband as he announced, "It's time for you to move on with your life." I looked down at my seven-month pregnant belly, and considered my three little boys, ages eight and younger, who were sleeping at Grandma's house. My first son had recently been diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, and my second son had just been diagnosed with autism. My third boy was born with a cataract in his eye, which caused doctors to question whether all three had some sort of genetic syndrome. My unborn child would be here in just a few months, and now my husband was leaving. How on earth would I move on with my life?

It takes two to have a divorce, and I'm sure that my pessimistic, worried nature didn't help create a pleasant mood in our home. I became consumed with medical issues-- those of my boys, and also my own, as I suffered a stress-related illness. I wasn't a perfect companion and I didn't really have the tools or support I needed to cope with these challenges, which seemed to hit me all at once. My greatest regret is that I did not have more courage. Still, I find it highly irresponsible for anyone to abandon a spouse in this predicament. My life, which had already become quite difficult, suddenly was a whole lot harder.

My Advice...

What advice would I give to someone going through a divorce while parenting a special needs child? Here are a few things I would strongly suggest:

1. If there is any way to salvage your marriage, SALVAGE it. Your child has enough chaos and adversity already, without having the added confusion of trading parents back and forth, or losing one parent entirely. Imagine the frustration for a child who relies on consistency, like an autistic child, to suddenly have to switch environments every few days. Not a secure situation. Your child, especially a special needs child, will benefit greatly from your marriage enduring. For tips on improving your marriage, see my blog, "Keeping Your Marriage Strong While Raising a Special Needs Child."

2. You cannot do this without help. You've got to find family members, friends, counselors, social workers, neighbors, people who attend your church, or anyone else available to you for support. If contacting people seems overwhelming, get your closest friend or family member to start the process. Contact that individual and say, "I need your help. This is what I need..." and be clear. Ask this person to make some calls for you. See my blog, "Finding Support: Parents of Special Needs Children" for more specific advice.

3. As hurt and heartbroken as you may feel, do not purposely limit your child's contact with the other parent. Unless there is addiction, abuse, or an unsafe situation, your child needs frequent contact with his other parent, for his own emotional well-being. It's incredibly painful to drop off your son or daughter with your former spouse. I know this all too well. But you will have to be strong for the sake of your child. For the first several weeks, I set-up visits with my friends each time my boys went with their father. It helped knowing I would not be alone.

4. Immediately make this chaotic time as structured as possible for your child. Set-up specific, reliable visitation dates. Keep drop off points at the same place each time. Create a routine. Provide a comfort object for your child to take with him on all visits. Make your child a calendar with the visitation schedule clearly marked, and let her cross off each day, so she can predict her visitations in advance.

5. Do not argue in front of your child. Do whatever you can to keep his life peaceful and as uncomplicated as possible. If necessary, get a mutual friend or acquaintance to accompany you to visitation drop offs, to limit any hostilities.

6. Have faith, courage, and hope. Trust me; I could not have imagined a worse scenario for my life. It seemed like all was lost. But life has a tendency to eventually turn the tables. You just have to be patient, and keep doing what's right. Focus on your child, but also nurture yourself. I've found that karma, fate, or destiny (whatever you choose to call it) will eventually reward these efforts.

Resources for divorced fathers

  • American Coalition for Fathers and Children, Lobbying arm for the National Congress for Fathers & Children. acfc.org or acfc@majordomo.esosoft.com, afc@cap.gwu.edu
  • American Fathers Coalition, 2000 Pennsylvania Ave NW #148, Washington, DC 20006
  • At-Home Dad Network athomedad.com or athomedad@aol.com . Also has a quarterly magazine written for the 2 million U.S. fathers who stay home with their children. Each issue presents the, listings of playgroups, resources, and other at-home dads. The magazine offers home business ideas, child-rearing tips, and firsthand stories. Peter Baylies, Editor, At-Home Dad, 61 Brightwood Ave, North Andover, MA 01845-1702. Subscription order site: parentsplace.com
  • Canadian Men's Parent Assoc, X21 Morris St, Ottawa Ontario K1S 4A6 Canada
  • The Center for Divorce Recovery. Men's Divorce Support Groups to help men connect with and be supported by other men who are going through divorce. To help men learn to cope more effectively with anger, fear and emotional pain, to help men gain greater control of their lives, to learn to let go and move forward with their lives and to learn how to avoid repeating unhealthy relationship patterns in their lives. 8930 Waukegan Road, Suite 202, Morton Grove, Illinois 60053, mirconnect.com/doc/divotrcerecovery.html or stevewallman@yahoo.com
  • Center for Successful Fathering promoting the benefits of involved dads. We believe that children need the balance of mom and dad. http://www.fathering.org
  • Dad & Son memoir at http://www.parentsplace.com/readroom/goodfathers/index.html
  • Dad, The Family Shepard, PO Box 21445, Little Rock, AR 72221
  • Dad's Against Discrimination, PO Box 65131, Seattle, WA 98155
  • Dad's Against Discrimination, Oregon Pioneer Bldg 320 SW Stark St 5th Floor Portland OR 97204
  • Dads and Daughters is the national nonprofit membership organization of fathers with daughters. DADs provides tools to strengthen our relationships with our daughters and to transform the pervasive messages that value our daughters more for how they look than who they are http://www.dadsanddaughters.org or joek@dadsanddaughters.org
  • Dads' Connection, a monthly meeting to share a father's perspective on parenting and to hear from experts who can help us with issues and concerns of fatherhood. We'd also like to connect dads with special concerns (single, non-custodial, stay-at-home, fathers with children with disabilities, etc.) with other dads who share their challenges. Bill Haigwood, California Parenting Institutue, Santa Rosa, CA
  • Dad's Den at http://www.portage.net/~rborelli/dads.html
  • DadsDivorce.com is a public service of the DadsDivorce Institute in St. Louis, Missouri. We are dedicated to helping divorced and divorcing fathers maximize their role in their children's lives. info@dadsdivorce.com
  • Dad's 'n' Daughters, 174 Scenic Ave, Santa Rosa, CA 95407
  • Dad Stuff at am2000.tamu.edu/~phayes/dad-stuf.html
  • Dad's Place at edgetown.com/edgetown/Edge_Fathers_Rights.html
  • Discipline of Fatherhood at www/isl.net/wwyweb/wwy2595.html
  • Divorced Dads Organization, PO Box 4001, Waukesha, WI 53187
  • Divorced Fathers, Serge Prengel, Mission Creative Energy, 27 W 24th St (603), New York, NY 10010 http://www.divorcedfather.com
  • Effective Father Seminars, Am Family Living Ctr, PO Box 3400, Orange, CA 92665
  • Fatherhood Project, 330 7th Ave 14th Fl New York NY 10001 http://www.fatherhoodproject.org
  • Fatherhood Today, Nat Fatherhood Intiative http://www.fatherhood.org
  • Fathering issues and resources, http://www.parentsplace.com/readroom/father.html
  • Fathers & Families, Building the Future for Fathers and Children Today, programs designed for strengthening father-child relationships, Bob Guglielmino, 17225 Hillside Avenue, Sonoma, CA 95476
  • Fathers for Equal Rights. Provides a Directory of Fathers Rights Organizations 3623 Douglas Ave, Des Moines, IA 50310
  • Fathers for Their Children, Box 21205, Concord, CA 94521
  • Fathers Forum, programs for expectant/new fathers. 1521 Shattuck Ave #201, Berkeley, CA 94709
  • Fathers' Issues - referrals, local, state or national assistance programs on domestic problems (visitation, support, abuse allegations) and advice about issues with their children http://fathers.org
  • Fathers' Network Since 1976 for fathers raising children. Resources, books, events and information pertinant to fathers, whether single, un-single, un-wed, middle-aged, at-home, full-time, step, foster with sons and/or daughters . fathersnetwork@menstuff.org
  • Fathers Network, a national organization that helps fathers raising disabled children. 16120 NE 8th, Bellevue, WA 98008 http://www.fathersnetwork.org
  • Fathers of America, 415 Washington Blvd #1102, Marina Del Rey, CA 90292
  • The Fathers Resource Center is pro-father, but "not at the expense of women": 430 Oak Grove St #105, Minneapolis, MN 55403 http://www.slowlane.com.frc
  • Fathers Rights & Equality Exchange, http://www.vix.com/free/
  • Fathers' Rights Org, 1212 N Broadway #133, Santa Ana, CA 92701
  • The Fathers Rights To Custody (FRTC) website is a non-profit website with several specific mission goals: To assist fathers in obtaining legal custody of their children; To provide information in support of the above goal; To disseminate information on Parenting Evaluations (also called Custody Evaluations); To encourage fathers involved in custody battles to request a Parenting Evaluation. http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/
  • Fathers Team Ministry Int, 4222 Hamilton Ave, Cincinnati, OH 45233
  • Fathers Imoted for Equal Justice, PO Box 11602, Santa Ana, CA 92711
  • Free Men at http://free-man.com/communities/nonprofit/mensgroups/noblejourney
  • Getting Men Involved, quarterly publication, Editor Ray Capper, http://www.bamin.org
  • Getting Men Involved booklet, James Levine, http://www.workandfamilies.org
  • Kids Deserve Dads' Sharing (KIDDS), 12137 Midway Dr, Tracy, CA 95376
  • Kids Deserve More than just a Visitor, they need their dad, mom and grandparents
  • Life with Father, gertrude.art.uiuc.edu/ludgate/the/place/place2.html
  • MA Men's Political Caucus, PO Box 15311 Kenmore Station, Boston, MA 02215 508.922.5704
  • Madison Men's Org, PO Box 9173, Madison, WI 53715
  • Men/Fathers Resource Center - referrals local, state or nat asst prog on domestic problems (visitation, support, abuse allegations) and advice about issues with their children 24 hrs, http://www.menhotline.org
  • Men International, 3250 Orchard Dr, Palm Harbor, FL 34684
  • Men of Action, Promise Keepers, PO Box 18376, Boulder, CO 80308
  • Men's Advocate Men's Hotline Up-date on gender issues from the male perspective, men@menhotline.org
  • Men's Defense Assoc, 1731 Wright Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94087, http://www.mensdefense.org
  • Men's Defense Assoc, 17854 Lyons St, Forest Lake, MN 55025 http://www.mensdefense.org/manif
  • Men's Educational Network. General men's issues. Box 10033, Kansas City, MO 64111
  • Men's Rights, Inc., supports equal rights for men and women - no exception, PO Box 163180, Sacramento, CA 95816 http://www.mens-rights.org or http://www.mensrights.com
  • Mr Dad, 3862 Uris Ct, Irvine, CA 92714
  • My Child Says Daddy, 3856 Martin Luther King Blvd #204, Los Angeles, CA 90008
  • National Association for Fathers, helps members work with court system on custody and visitation difficulties. 1075D N Railroad Avew #111, Stanton Island, NY 10306
  • National Association of Fathers, 31712-2A Casino Dr $108, Lake Elsinore, CA 92530
  • National Center for Fathering, http://www.fathers.com
  • National Center for Men, PO Box 317, Brooklyn, NY 11240
  • National Center for Men, PO Box 555, Old Bethpage, NY 11804, 516.942.2020 East Coast, West Coast
  • National Coalition for Free Men, Northern California http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/7744
  • National Coalition of Free Men, education, family law, research. I-Net: http://www.ncfm.org
  • National Coalition of Parents for Fathers' Rights, 6434 Farralone Ave, Woodland Hills, CA 91303
  • National Congress for Fathers & Children, 2020 Pennsylvania Ave NW #277, Washington, DC 20006 202.328.4377
  • National Congress for Men & Children - National advocacy org on issues affecting fathers and children, particularly divorce. PO Box 171675, Kansas City, KS 66106
  • National Fatherhood Initiative, 600 Eden Rd Bldg E, Lancaster, PA 17601 717.581.8860 http://www.fatherhood.org
  • National Fathers' Network, Set-ups up father support programs for fathers whose children are disabled, 93 programs in 36 states, provinces and New Zealand, http://www.fathersnetwork.org
  • National Fathers' Network Kindering Ctr, 16120 NE 8th St, Bellevue, WA 98008
  • National Fathers Rights Org, Box 4001, Waskesha, WI 53187
  • Nattional Organization for Men, 49 White St, New York, NY 10013
  • National Organization for Men, 16601 Alliance Ave #10 Tustin CA 92680
  • National Organization of Dads & Kids, 50 Janis Way, Scotts Valley, CA 95066 408.494.0992 (94) http://www.tnom.com or http://www.nom.org
  • National Organization of Men, Eleven Park Pl, New York, NY 10007
  • Pro-Choice for Men Project, 11496 Fty Niner Cir, Gold River, CA 95670
  • Single Dad's Index, http://www.vix.com/pub/men/single-dad.html
  • Sonoma Men, Box 990, Sebastopol, CA 94973
  • Southern Maine Home-Dads, Stephen Harris, Founder, http://www.slowlane.com/mhd
  • Teen Father Program, Dept of Social Serv, 7065 Broadway #200, Lemon Grove, CA 91945
  • Tehama Cty Fathers' Assoc, PO Box 8203, Red Bluff, CA 96080
  • Texas Fathers Alliance, 807 Brazos, #315, Austin, TX 78701
  • Washington State Fathers' Network, Set-ups up father support programs for fathers whose children are disabled, http://www.fathersnetwork.org
  • Welcome to the Domain of Patriarchy, http://www.patriarchy.com/~sheaffer/patriarchy.html
  • Worldwide Christian Divorced Fathers Activists solving divorces fast without any costs. 1429 Columbia Dr NE,Albuquerque, NM 81706
  • American Coalition for Fathers and Children, acfc.org
  • Center for Successful Fathering, fathering.org
  • Dads and Daughters. Dads and Daughters is the national education and advocacy nonprofit for fathers and daughters. DADs provides tools to strengthen father-daughter relationships and transform pervasive cultural messages that value daughters more for how they look than who they are. dadsanddaughters.org/
  • Dads-Daughters provides fathers and daughters with quality information designed to assist in improving their relationship. While their focus is dads and daughters, the information provided is written to help families with teenagers. dads-daughters.com
  • Dads and Daughters is the national advocacy nonprofit for fathers and daughters. DADs inspires fathers to actively and deeply engage in the lives of their daughters and galvanizes fathers and others to transform the pervasive cultural messages that devalue girls and women. dadsanddaughters.org
  • Divorced Dads, geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/1259/links.htm
  • Fathers and Families, fathersandfamilies.org
  • Fathers' Issues - referrals, local, state or national assistance programs on domestic problems (visitation, support, abuse allegations) and advice about issues with their childrer Dads@fathers.org
  • Fathers Rights & Equality Exchange, dadsrights.org
  • Fathers Rights Foundation, risaacs@intrnet.net or fathers-rights.com
  • Fathers' Rights at edgetown.com/edgetown/Edge_Fathers_Rights.html
  • The Fathers Rights To Custody (FRTC) website is a non-profit website with several specific mission goals: To assist fathers in obtaining legal custody of their children; To provide information in support of the above goal; To disseminate information on Parenting Evaluations (also called Custody Evaluations); To encourage fathers involved in custody battles to request a Parenting Evaluation. deltabravo.net/custody/
  • MBRACE Fatherhood is both a conceptual action and a curriculum training model for fathers. As a conceptual action, the acronym “MBRACE” encourages men who father children to embrace the essence of this role. As a curriculum model MBRACE Fatherhood is a series of training workshops that teach and encourage fathers to be better fathers. For we understand that fatherhood is an ever-learning process that essentially lays the foundation for loving, raising and developing strong, successful children. mbracefatherhood.com
  • Men/Fathers Resource Center - referrals local, state or nat asst prog on domestic problems (visitation, support, abuse allegations) and advice about issues with their childrendads@fathers.org
  • National Association for Fathers, helps members work with court system on custody and visitation difficulties. 1075D N Railroad Avew #111, Stanton Island, NY 10306
  • National Center for Fathering, fathers.com
  • National Congress for Fathers & Children, Are you being denied access to your children? We are a 20-year-old non-profit organization that educates fathers on their responsibilities, and how to protect their rights. If you know a father that needs help and advice, tell him to give us a call at: 1-800-SEE-DADS or ncfc.net or ncfc@ncfc.net or 2020 Pennsylvania Ave NW #277, Washington, DC 20006
  • National Fatherhood Initiative, fatherhood.org
  • National Fathers' Network, Set-ups up father support programs for fathers whose children are disabled, 93 programs in 36 states, provinces and New Zealand, fathersnetwork.org
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HOME TOWN NOT DESIGNATED

ARKANSAS

  • Dad, The Family Shepard, PO Box 21445, Little Rock, AR 72221

CALIFORNIA

  • Dad's 'n' Daughters, 174 Scenic Ave, Santa Rosa, CA 95407
  • Divorce Men Only Lawyers, 1000 Ygnacio Valley Rd, Walnut Creek, CA 94598
  • Effective Father Seminars, Am Family Living Ctr, PO Box 3400, Orange, CA 92665
  • Fathers & Families, Building the Future for Fathers and Children Today, programs designed for strengthening father-child relationships, Bob Guglielmino, 17225 Hillside Avenue, Sonoma, CA 95476
  • Fathers for Their Children, Box 21205, Concord, CA 94521
  • Fathers Forum, programs for expectant/new fathers in the San Francisco, Davis and Sacremento areas. On-going groups for men with children 8 years of age and under. Bruce Linton, 1521 Shattuck Ave #201, Berkeley, CA 94709, fathersforum.com
  • Fathers Imoted for Equal Justice, PO Box 11602, Santa Ana, CA 92711
  • Fathers of America, 415 Washington Blvd #1102, Marina Del Rey, CA 90292 )
  • Fathers' Rights Org, 1212 N Broadway #133, Santa Ana, CA 92701
  • Kids Deserve Dads' Sharing (KIDDS), 12137 Midway Dr, Tracy, CA 95376
  • Men's Defense Assoc, 1731 Wright Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94087, 5 mensdefense.org
  • Men's Rights, Inc. is dedicated to ending sexism in a way that recognizes the social, psychological, physical, legal, and economic problems of men. It seeks to make available to men the wide range of options that are now available to women; to ensure men the right to nurture and the power to raise children; to correct the social and economic pressures and the legal inconsistencies which fill our prisons and cemeteries with men; to correct the low standards of male self-image, health, and safety; to educate women as to their own continuing roles in perpetrating sexism; and to eliminate the dictum that the worst failure a male can commit is the failure to live up to his self-destructive male role. Equal rights for men and women - no exception! PO Box 163180, Sacramento, CA 95816 mens-rights.org or mensrights.com
  • Mr Dad, 3862 Uris Ct, Irvine, CA 92714
  • My Child Says Daddy, 3856 Martin Luther King Blvd #204, Los Angeles, CA 90008
  • National Association of Fathers, 31712-2A Casino Dr #108, Lake Elsinore, CA 92530
  • National Coalition for Free Men, Northern California geocities.com/CapitolHill/7744 or ncfm_ca@usa.net
  • National Coalition of Parents for Fathers' Rights, Woodland Hills, CA 91303
  • National Latino Fatherhood and Family Institute – 5252 East Beverly Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90022. Contact Jerry Tello, Executive Director of National Latino Fatherhood and Family Institute e-mail at nlffi@nlffi.org
  • National Men’s Resource Center. Visit their website at http://www.menstuff.org or send an e-mail to menstuff@aol.com
  • National Organization for Men, 16601 Alliance Ave #10 Tustin CA 92680
  • National Organization of Dads & Kids, 50 Janis Way, Scotts Valley, CA 95066 tnom.com or nom.org
  • Pro-Choice for Men Project, 11496 Fty Niner Cir, Gold River, CA 95670
  • San Diego Fathers' Groups ftp.ftp.cts.com/pub/jcb/fathers.html
  • SIMBA African Am Men Helping African Am Boys to become...PO Box 27548, Oakland, CA 94602. The Ghetto Solution, 12-year commitment as a mentor of inner-city residents, Roland Gilbert, Founder, simba.org, or roland@simba.org or ghett0@aol.com
  • Sonoma Men, Box 990, Sebastopol, CA 94973
  • Teen Father Program, Dept of Social Serv, 7065 Broadway #200, Lemon Grove, CA 91945
  • Tehama County Fathers' Assoc, PO Box 8203, Red Bluff, CA 96080
  • Walnut Creek - Divorce Men Only Lawyers, 1000 Ygnacio Valley Rd, Walnut Creek, CA 94598

COLORADO

  • Center on Fathering. The mission of the Center is to strengthen, encourage and support fathers to be actively and positively involved in the care and development of their children. The Center has information, services and programs for all fathers, regardless of their circumstance or situation. Services are geared to the individual needs of the fathers we work with. Services include support group, mentoring, assistance with referrals, structured classes on how dads parent and deal with conflict, and workshops to help fathers deal with the courts and the legal system. Ken Sanders, Program Director, Center on Fathering, 325 North El Paso Street, Colorado Springs, CO 80903 centeronfathering@adelphia.net
  • La Pa’s – Contact Randy Mergler, M.S. and Roger Coughlan, LCSW at La Pa’s at Transformation of Fatherhood. La Pa’s e-mail address is dads@lapas.org and its website address is http://www.lapas.org
  • Men of Action, Promise Keepers, PO Box 18376, Boulder, CO 80308

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA

  • American Coalition for Fathers and Children, Lobbying arm for the National Congress for Fathers & Children. acfc.org or afc@capaccess.org
  • American Fathers Coalition, 2000 Pennsylvania Ave NW #148, Washington, DC 20006 afc@capaccess.org
  • Concerned Black Men, Inc. - to publicly recognize and aid the constructive African-American youth: 655 Fifteenth St NW #300, Washington, DC 20005 202.639.4052 recycledpulp.com:81/%7Ecbmno/index/html
  • Men’s Health Network – Post Office Box 75792, Washington, D.C. 20013. The organization’s website address is http://www.menshealthnetwork.org.
  • National Congress for Fathers & Children, Are you being denied access to your children? We are a 20-year-old non-profit organization that educates fathers on their responsibilities, and how to protect their rights.ncfc.net 2020 Pennsylvania Ave NW #277, Washington, DC 20006 202.328.4377 (5/00)

FLORIDA

  • Men International, 3980 Orchard Hill Dr, Palm Harbor, FL 34684

GEORGIA

HAWAII

  • Hawaii Equal Rights Marriage Project, 1820 University Ave Rm 8, Honolulu, HI 96822

IDAHO

  • Down to Earth Dad, newsletter and speaking engagements, Patrick Mitchell, Coeur d' Alene, ID downtoearthdad.org

ILLINOIS

  • Law Offices of Jeffery M. Leving focusing on father's rights. divorce, paternity, trials & appeals, child support, visitation, custody and property disputes with a 24 hour helpline. Joseph Englert, 19 S. LaSalle Street, Suite 450, Chicago, IL 60603 pr@dadsrights.com or dadsrights.com

IOWA

  • Fathers for Equal Rights. Provides a Directory of Fathers Rights Organizations-3623 Douglas Ave, Des Moines, IA 50310

KANSAS

  • Million Dads March - Thomas Lessman serves as Chairman of the Million Dads March. http://www.milliondads.org. The Million Dads March’s mailing address is 4121 N.E. Brier Road, Topeka, KS 66616.
  • National Center for Fathering – 10200 West 75th Street, Suite 367, Shawnee Mission, KS 66213. http://www.fathers.com
  • National Congress for Men & Children - National advocacy org on issues affecting fathers and children, particularly divorce. PO Box 171675, Kansas City, KS 66106

MAINE

MARYLAND

  • African American Male Leadership Institute – Richard A. Rowe serves as the Executive Director of the African American Male Leadership Institute (“AAMLI”). Correspondence can be sent to AAMLI at its mailing address of P.O. Box 32025, Baltimore, MD 21208
  • Center for Fathers, Families, and Workforce Development/STRIVE offers programs that work to foster the healthy development of adolescent boys and young men and is headed by Joe Jones. 3002 Druid Park Drive Baltimore, MD 21215.
  • National Fatherhood Initiative – 101 Lake Forest Blvd., Suite 360, Gaithersburg, MD 20877, fatherhood.org

MASSACHUSETTS

  • At-Home Dad Network http://www.athomedad.com or athomedad@aol.com . Also has a quarterly magazine written for the 2 million U.S. fathers who stay home with their children. Each issue presents the, listings of playgroups, resources, and other at-home dads. The magazine offers home business ideas, child-rearing tips, and firsthand stories. Peter Baylies, Editor, At-Home Dad, 61 Brightwood Ave, North Andover, MA 01845-1702.
  • MA Men's Political Caucus, PO Box 15311 Kenmore Station, Boston, MA 02215

MINNESOTA

  • Dads and Daughters is the national nonprofit membership organization of fathers with daughters. DADs inspires fathers to actively and deeply engage in the lives of their daughters and galvanizes fathers and others to transform the pervasive cultural messages that devalue girls and women. DADs provides tools to strengthen our relationships with our daughters and to transform the pervasive messages that value our daughters more for how they look than who they are. Dads and Daughters, 34 East Superior St., Suite 200, Duluth, MN 55802 dadsanddaughters.org or joek@dadsanddaughters.org
  • The Fathers Resource Center is pro-father, but "not at the expense of women": 430 Oak Grove St #105, Minneapolis, MN 55403 slowlane.com.frc/
  • Men's Defense Assoc, 17854 Lyons St, Forest Lake, MN 55025 mensdefense.org/manif
  • National Coalition of Free Men, education, family law, research. I-Net: PO Box 58203, Minneapolis, MN 55485-2023 ncfm.org
  • Resource Center for Fathers & Families, with six offices in the Minneapolis/St. Paul metropolitan area, (Blaine, Burnsville, Crystal, Hopkins, Minneapolis, and N. St Paul) has created programs designed to enhance the role of fathers in full parenthood and full partnership in parenting their children. The mission of the Resource Center for Fathers & Families is to provide resources that will help men become better parents and better parenting partners regardless of marital status, and to provide the model that all children deserve. As a result, communities, families, the family's economy and society in general will benefit. They publish The Times for Fathers & Families: A newsletter for the changing needs of parents in the 21st century. Human Service Bldg 305, 1201 89th Ave NE, Blaine, MN 55424 resourcesforfathers.org/resources.html

MISSOURI

  • DadsDivorce.com is a public service of the DadsDivorce Institute in St. Louis, Missouri. We are dedicated to helping divorced and divorcing fathers maximize their role in their children's lives. info@dadsdivorce.com
  • Men's Educational Network. General men's issues. Box 10033, Kansas City, MO 64111

NEW JERSEY

  • African American Male Empowerment Summit – 614 Central Avenue, Suite 3, East Orange, NJ 07018. http://www.aames.org
  • FACE Fathers and Childrens Equality of NJ. Our Mission is To: Minimize the emotional upheaval experienced during and after the parental separation; Promote every child’s civil rights to equal access to both parents and the extended family regardless of marital status; End the adversarial process in divorce and custody matters; and Insure equal, unbiased treatment for all parties in Domestic Relations proceedings. facenj.org/

NEW MEXICO

  • Worldwide Christian Divorced Fathers Activists solving divorces fast without any costs. 1429 Columbia Dr NE,Albuquerque, NM 81706

NEW YORK

  • Fatherhood Project, 330 7th Ave 14th Fl New York NY 10001 fatherhoodproject.org
  • National Association for Fathers, helps members work with court system on custody and visitation difficulties. 1075D N Railroad Avew #111, Stanton Island, NY 10306
  • National Center for Men, PO Box 317, Brooklyn, NY 11240
  • National Center for Men, PO Box 555, Old Bethpage, NY 11804
  • National Organization for Men, 49 White St, New York, NY 10013
  • National Organization of Men, Eleven Park Pl, New York, NY 10007
  • Single Parent Res Ctr, 141 W 28th St, New York, NY 10001

OHIO

  • Fathers Team Ministry Int, 4222 Hamilton Ave, Cincinnati, OH 45233

OKLAHOMA

OREGON

  • Dad's Against Discrimination, Oregon Pioneer Bldg 320 SW Stark St 5th Floor Portland OR 97204

PENNSYLVANIA

  • BSI International, Inc. – Exclusive publisher and distributor of IN SEARCH OF FATHERHOOD® Forum For and About the Fathers of the World, a quarterly international male parenting journal. Visit its website at http://www.bsi-international.com or its Fatherhood discussion group at http://InSearchOfFatherhood®@msngroups.com.
  • FACE Fathers and Childrens Equality of PA. Our Mission is To: Minimize the emotional upheaval experienced during and after the parental separation; Promote every child’s civil rights to equal access to both parents and the extended family regardless of marital status; End the adversarial process in divorce and custody matters; and Insure equal, unbiased treatment for all parties in Domestic Relations proceedings. paface.org or philly@paface.org
  • National Center on Fathers and Families – Dr. Vivian Gadsden is the Executive Director of the National Center on Fathers and Families which is located at the University of Pennsylvania, 3440 Market Street, Suite 450, Philadelphia, PA 19104. http://www.ncoff.gse.upenn.edu
  • National Fatherhood Initiative, 600 Eden Rd Bldg E, Lancaster, PA 17601 fatherhood.org
  • Single and Custodial Fathers’ Network – Contact: John R. Sims, Jr., Executive Director of The Single and Custodial Fathers’ Network at One Parks Bend, Suite 213, Box 31, Vandergrift, PA 15690.

RHODE ISLAND

  • Providence - McIntyre, Tate, Lynch & Holt. David Strachman has had significant results in men's custody cases and some victories in the RI supreme court. 321 South Main St., Providence RI 02903, djs@mtlhlaw.com

TEXAS

  • Center for Successful Fathering, Inc. – 13740 Research Boulevard, Austin, TX 78750. http://www.fathering.org
  • Faithful Fathering Initiative In Texas – Post Office Box 1702, Sugarland, TX 77487
  • Fathers for Equal Rights, Inc. –1525 Elm Street, 1600 Pacific Building, Suite 870, Dallas, TX 75201.
  • Texas Fathers Alliance, 807 Brazos, #315, Austin, TX 78701

VIRGINIA

  • Great Dads – Contact Dr. Robert Hamrin, Founder and President of Great Dads at Post Office Box 7537, Fairfax Station, VA 22039. http://www.greatdads.org.

WASHINGTON

  • Dad's Against Discrimination, PO Box 65131, Seattle, WA 98155teleport.com/~dads or dads@teleport.com
  • Fathers Network, a national organization that helps fathers raising disabled children. 16120 NE 8th, Bellevue, WA 98008 , jmay@fathersnetwork.org or fathersnetwork.org
  • National Brotherhood of Fathers Rights offers support to all in regard to self representation in superior courts throughout the country. We focus on domestic relations issues, and offer membership as well as self help manuals covering all aspects of your presentation to the state superior court. For more information, visit our website at fathershelphotline.com or 8010 212th Street S.W., Edmonds, WA 98026 dennisg@mgoblue.com
  • The National Fathers Network – 16120 N.E. Eighth Street, Bellevue, WA 98008-3937.
  • National Fathers' Network Kindering Ctr, 16120 NE 8th St, Bellevue, WA 98008

WISCONSIN

  • Divorced Dads Organization, PO Box 4001, Waukesha, WI 53187
  • Madison Men's Org, PO Box 9173, Madison, WI 53715
  • National Fathers Rights Org, Box 4001, Waskesha, WI 53187
  • Wisconsin Fathers for Children and Families – P.O. Box 1742, Madison, WI 53701.wisconsinfathers.org

HOME TOWN NOT DESIGNATED

AUSTRALIA

  • Australian Information and Support Services for Men Pty Ltd. This website is being constructed & developed for all Australian Men. Our motto is "Fathers for Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow". We want you to ask questions, research Information, to seek support and to use the services the various companies, associations & organisations have provided for men within your State or Territory.We at AISSM support and are actively promoting the ideal of shared parenting arrangements amongst separated or divorced couples. We believe, equality and equity should be paramount for our children. – Unit 5a, 21 Stud Rd., Bayswater Vic 3153 Australia.aissm.com.au or info@aissm.com.au
  • Men’s Rights Agency – Post Office Box 28, Waterford, Queensland, 4183, Australia.mensrights.com.au
  • Michael Green, Q.C. – Mediator and counselor and author of Fathers After Divorce – Building A New Life And Becoming A Successful Separated Parent. A strong advocate of “shared parenting,”

CANADA

  • Calgary - Family of Men Support Society. Peer led support group for men, and families, going through divorce, the legal system or maintenance collection problems. We primarily assist male victims of domestic violence. familyofmen.com
  • Canadian Men's Parent Assoc, X21 Morris St, Ottawa Ontario K1S 4A6 Canada
  • Ex-Fathers – Contact Lloyd Gorling at RR1, Williamstown, Ontario, K0C 2J0 Canada. http://www.kalypso@glen-net.ca.
  • Fathers Battling Injustice -- Contact Dave Foster at 1500 Royal Fork Rd., Box 57507, Toronto, Ontario, Canada M9P 3B6.
  • Fathers Resources International. We Solve Men's Custody, Access and Support Problems We are located in Toronto, Canada, but our Blog covers stories from around the world - its all about Divorced Dads Rights. Our Audio-Newsletter Podcasts called DADCAST are all about practical solutions that will help dads no matter where they live and About.com mentioned us this Easter weekend! We have had email from around the world praising our PODCASTS and our subscriptions are climbing rapidly. Have a listen and let us know what you think. Note: we are also working on transcripts of the Podcasts so that the hearing impaired can also benefit from the discussion.Out blog for divorced dads is divorced-dad-daily.com. An Audio Newsletter Podcast called DADcas 60 minutes of News, Interviews and Strategies for Divorced Dads: fathers-resources.com/DadCast/tabid/621/Default.aspx Come to our free clinics in Southern Ontario. See the website for full details, free resources, new ideas and positive solutions and future download products/services geared to help anyone face the difficulties children, men and families face in Family Court. Learn how to “WAGE PEACE” in order to "END WAR" in Family Court. Check out fathers-resources.com.
  • National Fathers' Network, Set-ups father support programs for fathers whose children are disabled, 93 programs in 36 states, provinces and New Zealand, fathersnetwork.org
  • Victoria Men’s Centre – Contact Ken Wiebe at 1967 Oak Bay Avenue, Victoria, British Columbia V82 1E3 Canada.

NEW ZELAND

  • National Fathers' Network, Set-ups father support programs for fathers whose children are disabled, 93 programs in 36 states, provinces and New Zealand, fathersnetwork.org

UNITED KINGDOM

  • Families Need Fathers – 134 Curtain Road, London EC2A 3AR England.fnf.org.
  • Fathers Direct, Britain's first online magazine for all dads. Fathers Direct, Herald House, Lambs Passage, Bunhill Row, London, EC1Y 8TQ, t.beardshaw@fathersdirect.com or fathersdirect.com
  • FatherWork, the UK's National Network for Everyone Working With Fathers. FatherWork promotes effective support services for all fathers across the country. It is a key resource for practice, policy and research agencies - and for fathers themselves. We offer: seminars and regional conferences; training and consultancy on father-sensitive services; quarterly newsletter;good practice, tips and analysis; briefing papers about key issues; and, databases of services and resources You cannot afford not to subscribe if you want to be informed about work with fathers. Fathers Direct, Herald House, Lambs Passage, Bunhill Row, London, EC1Y 8TQ, fathersdirect.com
  • The Cheltenham Group – Acts as an advocate of men’s rights issues through publishing, research and lobbying. http://www.c-g.org.uk
  • UK Men’s Movement – This organization campaigns and lobbies for the protection of equitable rights for men and publishes a quarterly publication that explores men’s rights issues. Visit its website at http://www.ukmm.org.uk
  • Working with Men is a non-profit organization that supports the development of work with men through resources, publications, training, consultancy and advice and has a network of trainers and consultants with substantial experience working with men. Working with Men, 320 Commercial Way, London SE15 1QN, wwm-uk.freeuk.com
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